i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
