im drinking this country out of the recession.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
we're so committed to being not committed
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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