So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
