All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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