You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
