I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
