Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I didn't notice because vodka
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
