she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
