bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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