I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
