i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
