he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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