omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
