i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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