is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
