I accidentally had phone sex last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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