oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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