sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
