They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
