that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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