So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
All the doctor said was why
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