Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
