his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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