whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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