Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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