Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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