why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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