I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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