I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
this hospital has no fireball
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
