That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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