so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
