So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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