I saw his package. It spoke to me.
only if we run a train.
done.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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