I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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