Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I know her cup size but not her name....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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