so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
