i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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