a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize