i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
