I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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