So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
