not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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