Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
