I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
