loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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