And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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