Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
