Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you never un-have a 4some
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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