"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
