Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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