This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
