This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
