I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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