He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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