Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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