Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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