Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
