when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize