Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
there is glitter all over my balls
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