I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
